(16) Pepper and Salt

16) Pepper and Salt

I'm back at this!




Baby don't run from me
I won't run from you

Stay in this heat

Work this thing through

Heal me with your brokenness

And I’ll heal you with mine

Heal me with tears and sweat

As our bodies intertwine

Animal out on a limb

I need to be seen

Touch me again

Give me what I need

We're guilty of so many hurts

You bring out all of my faults

We are fire and earth

pepper and salt

I like it just spicy enough

It heats up the roof of my mouth

That heat takes a whole lotta trust

Hesitation tastes just like doubt

Baby don't run from me

I won't run from you

Stay in this heat

Work this thing through

Heal me with your brokenness

And I’ll heal you with mine

Heal me with tears and sweat

As our bodies intertwine

Animal out on a limb

I need to be seen

Touch me again

Give me what I need

We're guilty of so many hurts

You bring out all of my faults

We are fire and earth

pepper and salt

And  nothing is black or white

we say mean things we don't mean

what's right goes wrong in the night

I'm sorry that I can't sleep

I need sweet relief

From our spicy heat

Our salty energy

(GUITAR BREAK)

Baby don't run from me

I won't run from you

Stay in this heat

Work this thing through

(15) I Plan Too Much

Everything I thought I knew
None of it is coming true
And it isn't anyone's fault
ohhhh but it hurts

You won't wear a bridesmaid dress
The wedding plans are a mess
I thought I had a plan
Had one since we were ten
My visions and expectations are upside down
What are they worth, now?

I know I plan too much

But all the pinky swears and  promises
the double dares and daring plans
Was none of it real?
I'm trying to understand

All the dreams we whispered on the trampoline
Remember when we were giggling
high up there on on your round rope swing
then we found the fairy colony
in that tree stump in the aspen trees?

I know I plan too much

I don't need you in the wedding
I don't need a wedding at all
I am strong and independent
I'll let those old traditions fall
I'm writing my own story
You're writing your own too
I'm glad for your new baby
she'll need you more than I do

Those gold friendship necklaces we wore
were cracked apart
Your piece joined to mine
we were perfectly designed
for that time
Our friendship will always
live deep down in my heart

I know I plan too much

(13) Broken Dishes

It's incredible how many memories my mom's sake set and my grandpa's tea cups hold. The memories they hold are more important then their ability to hold food or drink.

I am moving next week and beginning to consider what I can let go of, both on the shelves and in my own soul.

At 13 songs now...I hope for another 1 or 2 today.... 13 more days! But if I don't make it by June 4th, fine, because this is for me.

Love from Mindy

There is a gallery of broken dishes at our house

Each one is like a shining hope transformed into a doubt

You bound them up with rubber bands and set them on the shelf

I’ll fix them when I can, you said, I don’t need any help

It’s time to let them go

There will be more broken dishes

It’s time to let them go

Just like all of our near misses

Let them go

We broke one of the sake cups my mom bought long ago

We cracked off some porcelain, black hair, yellow kimonos

Mom got it in England but it was made in Japan

You say someday you’ll glue it back together again

It’s time to let them go

There will be more broken dishes

It’s time to let them go

Just like all of our near misses

Let them go

The handles on the teacups didn’t want to stay attached

They came off during accidents or another shouting match

Blue snowflakes dance across the edge of those chipped white cups

My grandpa gave me those and I miss him oh so much

It’s time to let them go

There will be more broken dishes

It’s time to let them go

Just like all of our near misses

Let them go

There’s a gallery of broken dishes at our house

Each one is like a shining hope transformed into a doubt

Come my love, let’s take them all on down from the shelf

My love you are forgiven and now I need your help

(12) Look Closer

After seeing Fruitvale station, I've been thinking about my own prejudices. The ones that are way down deep that I don't mean to have, but do. Here's the 12th..


I want to look closer at you
I want to look closer at you
If I look closer at you
maybe you will stop and look closer at me too

I confess I have only skimmed the surface
I haven't really seen what's underneath
I confess I was afraid that you would hurt us
that's why I have not dared to look beneath

I want to look closer at you
I want to look closer at you
If I look closer at you
Maybe you will stop and look closer at me too

I confess I feel some trepidation
Opening my wounds for you to see
I am sure we'll have nervous conversation
As our tender trust begins to breathe

I want to look closer at you
I want to look closer at you
If I look closer at you
Maybe you will stop and look closer at me too

I declare this your holy invitation
To reach around the bounds of hate and fear
I declare this your blessed inspiration
To open up your eyes and your ears

The divine in me wants to touch the divine in you

(11) The Committee of Sleep

11. Same day as 10. Now we might be getting somewhere...




The committee of sleep
Mine
Meets every night between
my dark purple sheets
trasforming rough dead bard
into soft green moss cool to the the touch
ONLY
lately
The committee of sleep
seems to be going out for breakfast at 2 am
Leaving me alone
I can smell the maple syrup
they are pouring over their
buckwheat waffles
The smell is heavy
it's sweet and strong
But I cannot eat

I do not feel like eating
Instead I lie between the sheets
rustling -

My body becomes a coiled spring
ready to explode

Next to me lies a sleeping buddha
peaceful until I wake him up with my rustling
my wandering toe or my pound of the pillow
The smell becomes sour -

I lie itchy, wishing it was morning

desperate

Come back committee of sleep
All I do is think about
how dirty these sheets are
All I can do is go mad
until morning

Tomorrow night
I hope I'll be so tired that the committee of sleep
will not want to go out for waffles without me
I thought they were on my side
I think they are
But I miss the early mornings
getting up with the dawn

When my sleep committee refuses to remain present
I face the mornings wanly
at 9 or 10 am
Feeling shocked and sheepish that
it happened once again

It's hard

There are so many breakfast places
the sleep committee wants to try

All I can do is try again

(10) Birds Sang, then I slept

10. Sleep theme. Getting less afraid of the critic. That is all.




Last night I didn't sleep until the birds sang
Early in the morning, almost dawn
I laid awake they sang outside my window
And my thoughts tumbled low and deep and long

In the wee, small hours of the morning
I live through all my terrors and my dreams
What once was comfort's now's restriction
as I toss and turn under wadded sheets

My partner lays beside me like a buddha
I don't want to disturb but still I do
It's just that I feel hot and helpless
when you can sleep and I'm stuck watching you

In the wee, small hours of the morning
I live through all my terrors and my dreams
Through every promise that's been broken
and every itchy hurt that's in between

Last night I couldn't sleep until the birds sand
Early in the morning, almost dawn
In a way I admit that I was grateful
for the meant the dark night was almost gone

1/3 of the way...

(9) Dear Rejection...

9. That is all. And this little ditty...this little personification of "Rejection."

M

Dear Rejection…

Ah rejection dear rejection

Dear sweet rejection

Please don’t talk down to me

Don’t push me down the slope

And please do take note

My muse and I just eloped

We’re makin’ better things now

Than you ever have known

I will not be here

Hope it’s not too cold alone

Ah rejection dear rejection

Dear sweet rejection

Please don’t talk down to me

Don’t push me down the slope

And please do take note

My muse and I just eloped

Me and my muse

We’re going on a honeymoon

We’ll rub our feet on the sandy beach

We’ll stay up all night if we like
We'll eat escargot if it floats our boat

We’ll sleep in with all our might

Ah rejection dear rejection

Dear sweet rejection

Please don’t talk down to me

Don’t push me down the slope

And please do take note

My muse and I just eloped

Dear rejection --

So sad you cannot see a sunrise this bright

Spoken: Wish you were here